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Greetings![edit | edit source]
Welcome to JaneQuotes. This page was set up by Ian K. Hagemann as a way to collect some of the quotes that he learned from his pal Jane E. Hawkins (whose Facebook picture is being used as the logo). Some of these are going to be paraphrases and some of these are going to be versions of things originally said by other people.
Jane and I got to be friends rather than acquaintances during the course of an argument about suicide that went way past midnight. Neither of us are afraid to talk about hard things with each other, so some of the quotes I'm contributing are about those kinds of topics.
This site is intended for those who knew Jane and/or want to learn some of the wisdom she acquired in her life. Please feel free to contribute any of her sayings that you like. My preference is to leave them in random order, but feel free to organize them if you absolutely need to do so: just don't worry about duplicating them in several categories and don't erase any :-).
If you would like to know more about Jane, please visit the Jane's Obituary page.
Please note that this doesn't currently require anyone to get a membership in order to edit anything because I didn't want to impose any barriers to people contributing, but I am recommending that folks go ahead and create accounts if it's not too difficult.
Thanks go to my partner Sev for hosting this site.
Quotes (in random order)[edit | edit source]
"Resentment is allowing other people to live in your brain rent-free."
Everybody gets a limited number of 'eccentricity points.' But if you use too many of them, then additional eccentricities turn into 'weirdness points,' and things that used to seem eccentric start to seem weird."
"I might always be deluding myself, but I think you ought to see if my thoughts about myself are accurate before dismissing them out of hand."
[About her depression]: "Ten years of purgatory and five years of hell."
[About her cancer]: "I figure I lost more years to depression than I did to cancer."
[About relationships]: "If it wasn't going to work with Luke, it wasn't going to work."
"I didn't ask every woman I knew, but every woman I ever asked about it said she'd been raped."
"I was in the first class [at her college] that allowed women to study to be engineers. It was rough, but at least we could check with each other about whether the professors were biased against us."
"I really wanted to get published before I was 40."
"Between black and white is not just gray but all the colors of the rainbow."
"Sometimes there can be a rape without a [person who intends to be a] rapist."
"I saw a scapegoating dynamic start up every year that I observed at Clarion West. It didn't always get fully developed, but it always got started."
"I put aside five years' worth of living expenses and then I quit my job. They had to hire three people to replace me, and some of my coworkers were shocked that I left."
[about Ian, who contributed this quote]: "We're both in the 'crazy mommy' club."
"It's hard to recognize anger when it only looks like 'mommy out of control.'"
"There's no real studies about the lung cancer risk for folks who smoke about a pack a week, like I do."
"One time, I was playing Boggle and someone came by to say 'Hey, look: you can get enough sex.'"
"My favorite way to screen partners (around monogamy, which Jane didn't practice) was to tell them stories about my life and see how they reacted."
"Only one person knew ahead of time about the fact that Luke and I were going to get married at Janecon, and I only told her because she wasn't going to be there otherwise."
One of the panels at Janecon [the convention that Jane threw where she married Luke] was "Eileen Gunn talks about whatever she wants to."
"At the end of her life, she was just 'Phyllis.' to me." [Jane started using the name Phyllis instead of "mom" to refer to the woman who birthed and raised Jane. Jane also took care of Phyllis in Jane's own home through the end of her life].
"If someone tells you that you have to choose between them and X, choose X" [I refer to this as "Hawkins' Law," and it has saved me many times.]
"I'm ashamed that my nation dropped bombs on the poorest people. We could have given them money instead."
"The Democratic Party and the Republican Party were like Coke and Pepsi."
"The internet was created by men's desire to kill and f*ck." [Because the internet was first invented for the military, and the first websites that helped gaining its popularity were porn sites].
"When I saw that plane crashed into the building, I was on the floor crying and saying that: 'We are going to go to war. We are going to go to war with the wrong people.'"
"The 'Wow -- heavy' approach many people take to such things as Zen annoys me. To each their own, I guess, but for me it is not 'heavy.' It is lovely, joyous -- and humorous. After my closest approach to understanding thus far, I laughed aloud, chuckled for hours and smiled for days. The glorious, loving humor of the world flabbergasts me.”
"Everyone has an art. If your art is growing dandelions in your parking strip, then you need to make room in your life to grow dandelions in your parking strip."
"I have a crystal ball. It sits on my shelf and looks pretty and never tells me anything about the future."
"Fight or flight are not the only two options. Tears and laughter both work."
"Men's behavior and women's behavior are like overlapping bell curves. Anyone of either gender can show any behavior, but the most likely behaviors fall in different places on the scale."
This is not exactly a quote, but the line about the Internet, above, reminded me: When arpanet and usenet first appeared, Jane and I were very excited. Imagine, we said, a worldwide network. "Imagine," paraphrasing Jane, here, "politicians wont be able to just *lie* about their statements and actions." As it turned out, we were way too optimistic. Or, maybe, naïve. We were so excited about what we thought it meant. --Olav Kvern
Do Me a Favor? (an essay by Jane, on its own page)
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